Watch Gallagher Smash A Watermelon In Slow-Mo

The 1980s comedy titan that was Gallagher has, in recent years, revealed himself to be a bigoted and entitled old hack. He’s the definition of an old coot, now better known on the Internet for storming out of his WTF with Marc Maron interview when the host pressed Gallagher on his material, which would’ve even sounded dated 20 years ago. Before storming off, Gallagher spent most of the interview preaching about how he was blackballed from the industry and is more talented than even the most successful comics.

When Comedy Central named him No. 100 on the list of top comedians of all time, he openly complained about being ranked behind a bunch of people that he never even heard of, as if smashing a watermelon and complaining about how words are spelled equates to the thought that most comedians put into their acts. Hey, at least his act is on videotape.

The following is from a review of a 2010 Gallagher performance written by Lindy West on

Gallagher is upset about a lot of things. Young people with their sagging pants (in faintly coded racist terms, he explains that this is why the jails are overcrowded—because “their” baggy pants make it too hard for “them” to run from the cops). Tattoos: “That ink goes through to your soul—if you read your Bible, your body is a sacred temple, YOU DIPSHIT.” People naming their girl-children Sam and Toni instead of acceptable names like Evelyn and Betty: “Just give her some little lesbian tendencies!” Guantánamo Bay: “We weren’t even allowed to torture all the way. We had to half-torture—that’s nothin’ compared to what Saddam and his two sons OOFAY and GOOFAY did.” Lesbians: “There’s two types—the ugly ones and the pretty ones.” (Um, like all people?) Obama again: “If Obama was really black, he’d act like a black guy and get a white wife.” Michael Vick: “Poor Michael Vick.” Women’s lib: “These women told you they wanna be equal—they DON’T.” Trans people: “People like Cher’s daughter—figure that out. She wants a penis, but she has a big belly. If you can’t see your dick, you don’t get one.” The Rice Krispies elves: “All three of those guys are gay. Look at ’em!” The Mexicans: “Look around—see any Mexicans? Nope. They’ll be here later for the cleanup.” The French: “They ruin our language with their faggy words.”

So…yeah. Doesn’t really seem like he’s kidding.

But that still doesn’t mean watching someone smash a watermelon isn’t pretty cool, especially when the only effort it takes is pressing play on the computer. Gallagher in Slow Motion is a new video produced by the Florida-based agency Fiction and recorded with a Phantom Miro M320S high-speed camera.

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1 Response to Watch Gallagher Smash A Watermelon In Slow-Mo

  1. Slow motion makes everything look awesome :))!

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