Never leave home again

I bet you didn’t know that homicides of young children are solved more than any other age group. But after the age of 10 the chances of finding the murderer go down by 25%.

ID Discovery provides an endless amount of murder, torture, and kidnapping coverage. If you don’t get that channel don’t worry. Luckily, Disappeared, Nightmare Next Door, Wicked Attraction, Solved, and the rest of the gang are available on Netflix streaming. If “top shelf smut TV” is a term it definitely applies here.

ID Discovery was one of 2011’s fastest growing networks. As morbid as it sounds I can totally understand why more people want to tune in to this brutality. It’s addicting. Detectives have to outsmart everyone from serial killers to religious old ladies to weirdo’s who spend a lot of time in the woods. Channel 104 is a 24-hour freak show.

I never thought I’d know the name of so many mistresses or feel my heart skip a beat whenever I hear the term, “jailhouse confession.” I’ve convinced myself I know more that pretty much every detective ever, I’m like a Sherlock Holmes that wears sweatpants instead of a deerskin cap.

Make no mistake, this is train wreck reality TV at its finest. There are times when I desperately when to be condescending toward shows like Hoarders and all that other crap, but ID Discovery is way worse. It just happens to be better at disguising itself than The Situation and J-WOWW.

There are studies that have shown how watching the news and crime shows messes with people’s minds. Because it’s the material they’re exposing themselves to, viewers can’t help but think that criminal activity is more prevalent in society than it is. Violent crime has actually gone down in our society over the past 20 years. Watching violent TV shows will make you afraid to leave the house, but that’s okay because the shows are soooo good. At least we can be entertained while we’re afraid to go out at night.

Here’s a full episode of Disappeared because, honestly, why the hell not?

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